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12M

P10

From Rape to Peace

By

Anita Hooper

This book has been written with the sole purpose of helping survivors of rape travel the journey from pain to peace. It is written from the heart and is an uncomplicated easy read that will show the reader how to slowly dismantle the burden they carry.

 

The book consists of four sections. The first section is shown below; the second section is an introduction that tells the reader why I felt compelled to write the book. Following this is a short fictional story, designed to evoke a response in the reader. The story is not a tale of rape; it is quite a unique customised story in which the heroine ‘Anna’ experiences most of the extreme feelings felt by a survivor of rape. The story will also help the family and friends of a survivor to understand why rape can be so agonisingly difficult to deal with. Following the story Anna’s feelings are explored and explained drawing a parallel between what happened to her and the crime of Rape. The fourth section details the route to peace, which of course has been tried and tested by myself. The summing up finally brings my book to a close.

 

This book will give hope to a survivor of rape, because I as the author was raped as a child, I have experienced, survived and healed myself just as they can.

 

Below is a meaningful paragraph taken from the first section of the book,

 

When a prostitute sells the use of her body for monetary gain, the decision to do so is hers and hers alone, she is ‘ in complete control of her body’.

When a prostitute is raped, despite being used to having undesired sex, the crime of rape is as traumatising for her, because during the rape she was ‘ not in control of her own body and she felt trapped’ and that is terrifying!

 

Those are just two of the feelings of a survivor of rape is left to cope with, through absolutely no fault of their own.

 

Preface

Are you a survivor of rape who gets upset whenever you think about that past experience?

Do you avoid discussing it with anyone because you find the whole experience so distasteful?

Do you push the whole incident into the background and try to pretend that it never happened?

 

These are perfectly natural reactions that indicate the pain that accompanies the memory of rape has not been dealt with. Therefore, the reason that survivors of rape are often traumatised is really very easy to understand. In the aftermath of rape, when the body has healed and there is no visible physical evidence of a crime having been committed. The real pain is often just beginning; and it is this powerful emotional pain that can be so mentally damaging.

 

Almost immediately after the incident, the rape ordeal becomes a past experience; it is now a memory, a powerful memory, because it has much power to inflict pain. The reason it has this colossal power to hurt is because clinging to the memory are a host of un-dealt with feelings. These feelings will initially strengthen with the passage of time, so they will in fact become even more powerful. They can be likened to a painful boil which is full of thick yellow puss. A boil will grow and fester until it reaches its full variable size, then of course, it will erupt and the puss, will then keep oozing out, until eventually the cavity is empty. Given time the cavity will heal and the pain will eventually subside.

 

Will you please now imagine that the memory of rape is like a big festering boil inside you, and all those unshed tears, unleashed anger, fear, frustration and shame that accompany the memory, are synonymous of the thick yellow puss. Not a nice thought is it, but unless those painful feelings are dealt with, they will remain where they are in the background, clouding your entire life. Of course you can leave them where they are, because they threaten your sanity not your life, it is often the easiest option. Instead of dealing with these painful memories you parcel them up, just like the puss in a boil and leave them deep inside you. You even manage to wrap them up with a layer of hardness. Then no one can get at them can they?

 

If you bandaged up a boil on your leg could you stop it from festering? Sadly you can’t can you?  Well believe me like the boil on your leg, that parcel of excruciatingly painful feelings inside you, will fester and fester they won’t give you any peace until you deal with them. You will already have begun to live your life in a different way without even realizing it.

 

The only way that I can think of to explain this is;-

 

The boil on your leg that you’ve bandaged up, because you’re pretending it isn’t there. Do you think that leg will be as pain free and as strong as your other leg? I think not, you may well have to walk with a limp, or even with a crutch either way it will affect the way in which you live your life. The same will happen with the boil inside you, the only difference is no one can see it. That’s the really, really sad part, because no one and I mean no one around you really understands, the true extent of the burden you carry, except maybe another survivor of rape.

 

That memory needs to be rendered powerless, so that it can no longer hurt you. It can be done, it is possible to dismantle, then identify and understand all those painful feelings. You can then deal with them, and put them into some sort of order.

 

Like mine is now, your memory of rape will be stripped of all its power to inflict pain, and you will be left with an internal scar that is invisible to the outside world. Only a feeling of sadness will remain, and that will probably stay with the memory to keep it company for the rest of your life. I now live my life with that feeling of sadness and it is only evoked when I think of my childhood ordeal as I am now while I am writing this. I am so glad that I dealt with all the pain that I was carrying, because now I am free of it and believe me that really does feel good.

 

It cannot be done overnight, it will take time, and then just like the boil, that has erupted its puss, only a small scar of the wound will remain to show that it was ever there. That scar will be sore and fragile for awhile until it is fully healed. The internal scar that you will be left with will make you feel sore and quite fragile. It is a process that you must go through in order to rid yourself of the pain. I’m afraid there are no magic wands and no short cuts. I am not brave in fact quite the reverse; yet I managed to do it so I have every confidence that you can

 

Do you want to live the rest of your life with a boil on your leg? Surely not

 

Then please don’t live the rest of it with a festering boil of tears, anger. fear and shame inside you.