What makes someone a good policeman? Is it all rushing around with sirens blaring and blue lights flashing? What is it like to face violent and drunken people on a Saturday night? How would you cope with the carnage of a fatal accident, or interviewing a suspect for a robbery? How much have police methods changed over the last 30 years? With a light touch this book gives an anecdotal insight into all this and more. We meet murder, violence, terrorism, rape, industrial disputes, robbery and public order, and everything else you can think of. Mixing humour and pathos, life and death, success and failure we are taken on a fascinating journey through the eyes of a young policeman in the 1970’s.
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I spent six months as a Temporary Detective Constable, working with a fellow TDC Tim. One day Tim and I were given the task of returning a villain to prison. He had been released on licence but the Home Office had issued a revocation of licence order, which we had to now put into effect. We knew the man involved and had a good idea where he was. We decided it would be best to visit the address well after the pubs close to give them all a chance to settle down. We wondered about assistance and handcuffs, but decided, in our confidence, that we didn’t need either, we would talk him out without too much trouble. As you have probably guessed, things didn’t quite work out as we had hoped!
Around half past midnight the next morning, we drove up to the address and knocked on the door. It took quite a while to raise anyone and then the dear lady of the house came to the door. It would be an understatement to say that she wasn’t pleased to see us and we were treated to a volley of abuse. We told her that we had come for her house guest who we will call Riley. Despite her assertions that he wasn’t there, we could see him lying asleep on the sofa. We pushed past her and went into the room. We woke him, showed him the revocation order and told him we were arresting him, all the while putting up with insults and abuse from the dear lady of the house. Riley looked at us and said, wild horses couldn’t drag me out of here, yet alone you two bastards. With that he turned away from us and went back to sleep! The noise the woman was making was obviously disturbing the house and we decided that prompt action was needed. We tried talking to him again but he completely ignored us so we were forced to come up with an alternative plan very quickly.
I told him that if he wouldn’t come voluntarily we were going to carry him out, but he simply ignored us. I took hold of his head and shoulders and Tim got his feet, we lifted him up and made towards the door. After a couple of steps, Riley turned his head and sunk his teeth into my thigh. He bit down hard and very painfully and would not let go. I dropped him, but he refused to let go and bit down still harder. I punched him in the head in an effort to persuade him to let go. That did the trick but hitting him was too much for the lady of the house. Still shouting and swearing, she came up behind me as I knelt on the floor, she grabbed the ends of my tie, pulled them either side of my neck and set about strangling me with it. I tried to throw her off, but she hung on grimly. Summoning every ounce of strength I had I managed to throw her across the room. The trouble was that she didn’t let go of my tie. Being a very heavy woman I was pulled off my feet, or rather my knees, she landed on the sofa and I landed on top of her!
This all happened too quickly for Tim to do very much and just at that moment the door burst open and the rest of the family flew in. They had a dog which immediately attacked me, Tim struggled with Riley, and the woman s husband and daughters joined in the attack on me, incensed, not only that we had invaded their house in the early hours, but because I had the temerity to make sexual advances to their mum, evidenced by my laying on their mum on the sofa, even if I was on my back!
I managed to turn round and forced the woman s hands off my tie, trying to ignore the dog biting my ankles and the husband and daughters pummelling my back and head, and I managed to stagger to my feet. I was just in time for one of the daughters to swing a pram carriage at me, which hit me on the side of the head. There is a time to advance and a time to retreat and we knew when we were beaten, Tim and I retired in disorder, pursued by the dog and another volley of abuse and shouts of triumph!
Licking our wounds, Tim and I considered our options. I needed treatment so we decided to leave Riley for now and Tim drove me to the hospital. I had superficial cuts and bruises to my head and upper body, dog bites to my ankles and deep human bite marks in my thigh. The nurse was fine when I took my shirt off for treatment to my upper body wounds, but for some reason she found it very amusing when I had to drop my trousers for the bite to be examined and treated! She went out and I heard her say in a low voice, there s a copper here with his trousers round his ankles. A few more nurses came to look and discreetly chuckle, what a cheek, if you’ll pardon the pun! Then they left and the original nurse, still suppressing laughter, treated the wound and gave me a tetanus injection in the bum. Struggling to regain some vestige of dignity, I pulled my trousers up, lifted my head high, thanked the staff and joined Tim to return to the Station.
On the way we considered our options, was it worth trying again? The good thing was now that it was after 0200 there were no other CID officers around to have a laugh at our expense. We decided we had nothing to lose by a further attempt to arrest him, but thought it might be prudent to go better prepared this time. We went to see the uniform Sergeant and asked for some men. Taking handcuffs with us, three uniformed officers accompanied Tim and I as we returned to the address. With two officers we knocked on the front door, while one of the PC s went round the back. After a lot of banging and some delay, my favourite lady came to the door and greeted us with more abuse. She wasn’t going to let us in but we pushed past her and searched the house. The commotion awoke the rest of the family and they came downstairs but made no effort to attack us, being outnumbered this time. They even stopped the dog from biting me, although it clearly wanted to! We found Riley hiding in the bath, under a pile of towels. We arrested and handcuffed him and took him in, the gentle criticism of the lady of the house echoing in our ears!
Riley was placed in the cells and we later charged him with resisting arrest and assault causing actual bodily harm. He was taken to court and had his sentence extended by another three months. He was then taken back to prison to serve his sentence. I was left with a scar high on my right thigh, which will be a permanent reminder of the dangers of over-confidence! For the rest of my police service I never again wore a conventional tie. I got hold of clip on ties and used them, much safer, and the knots looked better than my efforts anyway!