Synopsis
Imagine a world where technology has taken over as the new God worshipped by humanity. A world where falling numbers of believers is threatening the very existence of Heaven and Hell.
Now imagine a plan, hatched by God, to pull humanity back from the brink of an existence without a God to worship...or a Devil for that matter, given than they’re flip sides of the same coin.
Someone in Heaven has created The Eye of God, a crystal which warns when the balance of power in Heaven and Hell has been overtaken by the new God technology. When the crystal comes to life, a team is put together from Heaven.. Hell...and Earth. Their job...to figure out a way to stop mankind from forsaking God.
Prologue
Everything has to start somewhere... sometime...
In the beginning, or so the story goes, when nothing was everywhere and existence hadn’t yet been invented … there was a thought and the thought was… What if?
What if... there was something more? More than simply nothing. More than just darkness and emptiness.
Light, perhaps? And maybe some big round things, floating here and there, without bumping into each other. Suddenly there were blazing stars, each one bringing warmth to the light. Then came colourful planets with swirling gases and dodgy atmospheres.
But the planets were cold and lifeless. So, after a few aeons, the thought looked at one planet in particular… and had an idea.
Suddenly there was life. Very primitive and a bit gooey, but with distinct possibilities.
The thought looked down from high above on all its creations and was well chuffed.
In time, life developed and spread… and after a while even began paying taxes. But all too soon, life discovered curiosity...and began to ask difficult and uncomfortable questions.
Some asked, Who are we?
Others asked, What are we here for?
A few sneaky and suspicious ones even had the nerve to ask, More to the point, who are you and what do you want?
Suddenly the thought had another, even more radical, idea. What if I was more than a thought? What if I had form and substance and could give them the answers they seek?
So it became God. And for some unknown reason… male, a little on the old side, with a long, white beard. All life recognised him and promised to worship him for ever, mostly on Sundays... and never, EVER forget him. And that’s when all the trouble started...
Chapter I.
“Ok,” said the Devil, you got me. “What the sweet Enola Gay is it?”
“That, my dear Lucy,” said God, proudly, “is my divine thingy. Cute isn’t it!”
The two were sitting on sunloungers on a beach somewhere very similar to the tropical Island of Bali, complete with temples, palm trees and scorching sunshine. Here and there, the deep blue sky was interrupted by small fluffy clouds...and the occasional squalking seabird divebombed the calm sea, fishing for lunch. The place had been created by God for one single purpose. It was the only meeting ground in the history of the universe that had its own permanent and unalterable ceasefire between the overlords of Heaven and Hell, which made it pretty damned unusual.
Big G ( as he liked to think of himself ), had a cool Helter Skelter Mixer in a frost-rimmed glass with an umbrella in one hand, and a gem the size of his fist in the other. He took a sip of his Helter Skelter and tossed the gem at the Devil, who very nearly spilled his Double Miracle Mash ( with coconut slice ) all over his chest, as he caught the rock. “Oh well held,” said God, saluting him with a raised glass.
The Devil glared at him, put down his drink on the bamboo side table next to his lounger and looked closely at the sparkling rock, turning it over in his hand.
“Looks pretty much like a bloody great diamond with a teeny weeny black speck right in the middle of it to me,” he said, almost dismissively. “This what all the fuss is about? This why you yanked me here when I was just settling down to a nice nap? “
“Don t be such an arse, Lucy,” said God, sounding a bit tetchy. “That bloody great crystal gizmo will save our backsides one day. “
“Save our backsides? Save our backsides?” said the Devil, scornfully, tossing the gem into the air and trapping it with the catcher’s mitt that appeared on his right hand. “Who from?”
“Mankind,” said God, sadly. He sipped his drink, then reached under his lounger for the small bottle of extra-protective sun tan lotion. Unscrewing the top, he squeezed a blob onto his left palm, then rubbed it all over his face.
The Devil laughed, “Hah! That lot?”
“Oh you better believe it. Sure...right now they re all split very nicely between the godlovin and the devilworshipers...the churchified and that upsidedown cross lot with the funny costumes.”
“Don t knock it till you tried it,” said the Devil, stretching out a hand. “Here,” he said. Let’s have some of that lotion, my legs are as red as a monkey’s backside.
“One day,” said God, throwing him the bottle, “one day, all that nicely fostered belief will start driftin and shiftin and before you know it they’ll think they can do without us.
“Bollocks,” said the Devil, rubbing the lotion into his knees.
God shook his head sadly and a salty bead of sweat dropped off the end of his nose and onto his upper lip, before sliding into his mouth. “All the bollocks in the universe won t save us then, my friend,” he said. “Oh, sure, before we get to that they’ll bend my way for a bit… then go your way. And there will even be some that bend both ways!”
“Oooh,” said the Devil, smiling. “I like the sounda that!”
God raised his right eyebrow and marvelled for the gazillionth time at how utterly free of conventional thought and behaviour Lucifer was. It was a curse, he realised. But sometimes he wished that just a little of it would rub off onto him. Just like the lotion.
“What?” said the Devil, shrugging. “What?”
“Anyway, said God, smiling. I fixed up a bit of insurance.
“Insurance?” said the Devil, a distant memory rising to the surface like the small sprats in the sea rising up to be snatched by the sharp-eyed gulls. “Not the same kind you fixed up with the apple and the Garden and the Adam and Eve thing? “
“That was a slight miscalculation,” said God, dismissively, pursing his lips and waving a large, hairy hand in the air.
“Oh yeah,” said the Devil. “I beat your ass on that one and you go so pissed off you didn’t speak to me for about a thousand years! Anyway, I’d hardly call putting the bloody apple so far up the tree that the buggers wouldn’t be able to reach it, insurance!”
“Not exactly foolproof, eh!”
“It was autumn!” said God, shrugging his shoulders. “Along comes Eve and the damned thing falls off the tree and into her hand. I thought I had the seasonal thing cracked. It came early. Go figure!”
Behind them, there was a soft scuttling in the undergrowth… and a strange looking feathered creature emerged, heading slowly for the water’s edge.
“What the blue blazes is that?” said the Devil, turning round and eyeing the creature at it walked awkwardly over the sand, fluffing its feathers and looking at them suspiciously.
“Oh, just something I’m playing around with. New species. Called a Race.”
“But… but...it’s got three legs!”
“I know... I know.. “ said God, tugging at his small, white beard. “But you should see it run.”