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Sample: Penelope is a Party Pooper.
"I am NOT a Party Pooper and I never ever will be."
Penelope doesn't get invited to birthday parties, Eid parties, Christmas parties, or any kind of parties.
"For your misinformation, I don't like parties."
The reason Penelope doesn't get invited to parties is because she's a Party Pooper.
"I am NOT a Party Pooper and I never ever will be."
Once, Penelope was invited to Horatio Harolds' birthday party.
"I remember that yawnful party."
The party was going well until it was time for Pass-the-Parcel. Because it was Horatio's birthday, Mrs. Harolds thought it a good idea if he started the game. Common sense, really!
"It certainly was NOT common sense and it never ever will be.
I'm the bestest in the world, so I should always be the first at everything."
Penelope kicked up such a fuss that Mrs. Harolds decided to let her have the parcel first.
"I don't make fusses and I never ever will."
The game began and it seemed as though things were settling down until the music stopped and the parcel landed in
Rudolph Randall's lap. Well, Penelope was certainly not going to stand for that!
"Mrs. Harolds was cheating. The only reason Rudolph got the parcel first is because he's Horatio's best friend."
Mrs. Harolds wasn't cheating. She was wearing a blind-fold.
"It was a transparent blind-fold."
Penelope screamed at the top of her lungs.
"I did NOT!"
She tugged at her two little piggy tail plaits.
"I certainly did NOT!"
She went on and on and on.
"I was making an important point. Goodly behaved children, like yours-truly, should open parcels first."
Mrs. Harolds had enough. She rang all the parents and informed them that the party had to be cut short due to
unforeseeable circumstances, and their children needed picking up. That was the last birthday party Penelope was ever
invited to.
"Thank heavens for that!"
Penelope, you are such a Party Pooper.
"I am NOT a Party Pooper and I never ever will be."
Once, Leyla Latif invited Penelope to an Eid party, an Islamic festival to mark the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting.
"I don't remember this party."
Leyla wanted to celebrate the end of Ramadan with her friends. During Ramadan, Leyla fasted. So, at her party she had plenty of delicious food: samosas, kebabs, tikka masala.
"She didn't have egg and bacon sandwiches."
Penelope, I thought you couldn't remember this party?
"My memory has been jogged."
The only food Leyla wasn't serving that day was egg and bacon sandwiches, for very obvious reasons.
"It is NOT an obvious reason and it never ever will be."
Leyla's family don't eat bacon, it is forbidden in their religion.
"I knew that, I was testing you!"
Mr. and Mrs. Latif tried their level best to explain to Penelope why they didn't have egg and bacon sandwiches. But
Penelope was not prepared to listen.
"I was listening. But everyone else was eating their favourite food, so why couldn't I have mine?"
Penelope, you've already been told why not.
"I have NOT been told and I never ever will be."
Anyway, when Penelope finally realized egg and bacon sandwiches were not on the menu, she went berserk. Penelope bawled her eyes out.
"I did NOT!"
She kicked at the table.
"I certainly did NOT!"
She went on and on and on.
"All I wanted was an egg and bacon sandwich. Princesses, like yours-truly, should be served with whatever delicacy they wish to have."
Mr. and Mrs. Latif panicked, as did the children. Penelope was uncontrollable. So they rang all the parents and asked them to collect their children. They explained that the party had to be cancelled due to unexplainable events. That was the last Eid party Penelope was ever invited to.
"Good! Parties that don't have egg and bacon sandwiches stink."
Penelope, you are such a Party Pooper.
"I am NOT a Party Pooper and I never ever will be."
Once, Penelope was invited to Christina Crumpet's Christmas party.
"Must you mention that horrendous event?"
Because it was Christina's Christmas party, all the children brought her an extra special gift.
"They were NOT extra special gifts. Only I ever get extra special gifts because I am an extra special person."
Penelope, if those gifts weren't extra special, then why were you outraged when you didn't receive any?
"I was NOT outraged and I never ever will be. I was simply disgusted by the fact that nobody brought an angel, like yours-truly, an extra special gift."
Penelope, why should you get a gift? It wasn't your party.
"I absolutely, totally, really don't care. Baby Jesus, an extra special individual, was given gifts of Frankincense, Myrrh and Gold. So, an extra special girl, like yours-truly, should also be gifted with a fifty pence, a coat of fur, and magic mould."
Anyway, when Penelope realized she hadn't received one single gift, she was infuriated. Penelope banged her fists against the wall.
"I did NOT!"
She jumped up and down like a frog in boiling water.
"I certainly did NOT!"
She went on and on and on.
"I have tried my very bestest to explain to you why angels, like yours-truly, deserve to be given gifts. Christina was simply being selfish. She had plenty of gifts to share with the rest of us."
Mr. Crumpet had a short fuse. He was so angry with Penelope that he sent her straight home. This was the very last party Penelope was ever invited to.
"Actually, you're wrong. I have tea parties every Sunday and I always invite myself."
Penelope, you are such a Party Pooper.
"I am NOT a Party Pooper and I never ever will be."
That's correct, Penelope. You will never ever be a Party Pooper because you will never ever get invited to another
birthday party or Eid party or Christmas party or any kind of party.
"Why not?"
Because, Penelope, you are such a Party Pooper! ...
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