Page Title

The Big Bruise Show

Meeting for the embryo.

Forming fast, progressing slow.

Gaining what is rightfully yours.

No decision past first course.

Choice for life was never made.

It's price by you has to be paid.

Whether you like it or you don't,

you've no part in your existence vote.

Forced out of the safe cocoon.

No more time left in the womb.

Time to face the universe.

Could there be anything worse?

When she shot me out, she died.

No Mummy to be Mother's pride.

Born without my sight or limbs.

Born a Down's Syndrome victim.

Born with a positive H.I.V. test,

through the old woman's foolishness.

Have to face life with my stomach churned.

Why did she have to meet the sperm?

Here I am, and infantile,

mischievous and pretty vile.

Wanting to get my revenge

upon existence that offends.

Have to meet some more of me.

Have to make out I'm happy.

Have to mix and socialise.

Have to wear this constant disguise.

Watching happy faces play.

Wanting just to get away.

Wanting to not be part of them.

Wanting to return to the womb again.

Having to start school today.

Here we go again this way.

This time will be ten times worse.

This time it's not been rehearsed.

Living life played by the rules.

Lessons in becoming fools,

dodges themes to influence

children of indifference.

Later, to extend this bad dream,

life is smashed to smithereens.

Welcome in, you puberty.

Have you got something nice in store for me?

So goodbye then, you childhood.

Hello, monthly gush of blood.

What purpose have you for me then?

I'm a confirmed lesbian.

I'll take the shit from society,

but don't expect my apology.

My college's gay union

allows only men called Julian.

Studying to qualify.

studying to just scrape by,

in this screwed up house of thugs,

whose chewed up brains are filled with drugs.

Leaving college with no goal,

but to only end up on the dole.

Got myself a relationship

with a two-timing woman not prepared to commit.

Family disapprove some more.

Drinking to make sense of it all.

Working merely to get sacked. Homeless,

skint and getting fat. Continued

Continued

Marrying to hide preference.

Battering, he loves to punch.

Admitted to the whacked wives home,

where we provide the 'big bruise show.'

That's where I began recovery, until he interfered with me.

Soon after, hit the tragedy of the shooting of my direct family.

Once for release, but now to replace.

This time, with the den of the mental case.

Banging heads on padded divisions.

Screaming for no-one else to listen.

Entered young to exit old.

Shoved around, do what I'm told.

They now inform me of a niece,

but I'm sure all my kin have deceased.

She's pleased I'm here at my expense, longing for her inheritance.

So I've popped my pills - won't be long now.

My remains up for grabs by the greedy cow.

A life, death and suicide victim.

Born with a head start lose, destined not to win.

So I've just popped under ground for a permanent break that's called to die.

Thank God I can't pop 'round again, to wave my last goodbye.

Life is one deep wound where you can never bathe the sore,

and the answer's always no, when asked; is it really worth it all?

Another News Headline.

(Tribute to Carl Bridgewater and the Innocent Four).

Just another day when the papers arrive.

Mother journey on my heavy push bike.

Another long school day put behind me.

Another road for my delivery.

Another farmyard of the familiar kind.

Another letterbox with no-one behind.

Another end of day that takes you by surprise.

Another batch of men up to no good in disguise.

Another victim held to the wrong place and time.

Another shooting fired to end this life of mine.

Another news headline,

one of many we've read before,·

on another paper's page, which I can no more shove through your door.

An other thirteen year old of innocence.

Mother group of criminals imprisoned for their

offence.

Another young boy deprived of a lifetime's life ahead.

Mother curse I throw up from this grave which leaves me dead.

Just another crime the law accused on the four

mistakes.

Another roof protest to stress the extreme of this piss take.

Eighteen years is a long time to be imprisoned for

burglary.

Convicted for the killing,

now proved a murders mystery.